This week I have been working hard getting ready to send off a missionary package for Dylan because guess what day it is? That’s right….HUMP DAAAAAAYYYY!
Friday morning I got up and saw a memory on Facebook. I saw pictures of us dropping him off at the MTC. It was a weird sensation, because I was thinking about how it seems like he’s been gone forever, but at the same time it seems like he barely left. Some days I really miss him a lot (okay…so I miss him a lot all the time but I don’t sit and dwell on it most of the time), but I’m not the type that sits around and cries about it. Until Friday. I cried a little bit. I’m not sure why, but I think it’s because I looked at the picture of me hugging him and I could actually remember in detail what it felt like. I remembered the texture of his suit coat, and the rough feel of his hair on my face. It seemed like a lifetime ago…and yesterday.
True to my procrastinating nature, I put off getting his package ready for this momentus event until the last minute. It’s not like I had a year to plan for it or anything… It left me scrambling a little bit (especially since the van thing happened on the same day I was supposed to be shipping it) but I got it done.
Hump Day naturally calls for camels…and lots of them!
I intended to fill a box with goodies and things, but Dylan is trying to eat healthier and the last time I sent him a box filled with candy he wasn’t all that happy with me. So my goal when I went shopping was to pick things that weren’t quite so bad, but weren’t boring either. The other requirement was that I would need to open them all and reseal them without him knowing. This is what I got:
Now…I’d like to pat myself on the back a little here and tell you that those packages all look new and unopened in that picture, but they are actually NOT. Using an exact-o knife (and being very, very careful) I opened them all and emptied out half the contents (halfway done…get it?) I threw a camel joke or saying into each one and then resealed them with rubber cement. I tell you what–I could be a first rate food tamperer if I wanted to be because to look at those packages, other than the fact that they looked sort of empty, you could not tell they had been opened.
A special warning about camel jokes
I’d like to pause here and throw out a warning about camel jokes. Please don’t go searching for them on the internet unless you want a serious eyeful of distasteful humor and downright vulgarity. Apparently, the word “hump” is pretty conducive to foul humor. Who’d have thought. I managed to find about five that were suitable for a missionary (or halfway decent human being) to hear and that was about it. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Here are the strips of paper I printed out with the clean but stupid camel jokes that I found:
I can almost feel the strain of Dylan’s eyes rolling as he reads them and shakes his head.
How missionaries are like camels
I found this really great comparison of missionaries and camels and printed it like a story:
Hopefully he will find it encouraging and useful because I loved it! I’m hoping he will hang it on his wall where he can read it often. I was going to buy him a stuffed camel but decided against it. I’m trying not to send him a bunch of things that are bulky and take up room in his suitcase. Instead, I made him this:
I cut him out using my Cricut and he’s pretty big. I sent him an email and told him I expect to see some “Flat Stanley” type pictures showing up with him and his new friend. I hope he will comply.
Then came the cookies::
When I started out making them I had grand visions of them wearing those fancy rug type saddles on their backs, but it was midnight and I was tired. They ended up just being a basic brown camel. Hopefully they arrived fresh and edible.
Let’s keep it positive!
Last but not least (for the camel portion of our package) I wrote a poem about Hump Day. A lot of emphasis gets placed on the whole “halfway done” part of hump day, and I was looking for something a little different. I wanted to concentrate on the year that’s left and the amazing opportunity that it provides. There were poems on the internet, but nothing that really caught my eye so I decided to just write one myself.
And, of course, we have to include some more halves of things
A while back as we were getting ready for a yard sale, I wrote Dylan an email and joked with him about selling his precious guitars while he’s gone. I was joking of course, and Dylan, of course, was not amused. His response was classic and I’ll never forget it. He said “Regardless of distance or time, this relationship is never going to change, is it?” My answer: “Nope.” So I just wouldn’t be me if I didn’t include some dorky things just to make him roll his eyes at me. I opted for a new partial wardrobe:
In case you can’t tell, that’s a half a shirt (let’s just call it a halter top, shall we?), a half a tie, and the bottom half of a pair of black socks. After contemplating whether or not to send just one full sock, I decided cutting both of them in half was just way funnier.
Half a letter to a missionary is a cruel, cruel thing
The other thing I sent him half of, was an envelope of letters. Everyone in the family wrote him a letter. I folded them up, cut them in half (the long way) and stuck them in an envelope. Not wanting to be completely cruel, I put the other half in a separate envelope to mail later. I figured he doesn’t really have enough frustration out there in the mission field, so why not provide some by sending him letters he can’t read? So I threw all this in the box along with a sign on top with the camel from the commercial making his hump day announcment.
Many better moms than me decorate the box flaps. I’ve done it before, but as I stated earlier, because of the van thing I was a little under the gun. I chose not to worry about it and just hurry off to get it shipped. I was so proud of myself that I actually got it out the door when I planned I almost wanted to throw a party for myself.
Fast forward two days
This is the part where I tell you what a complete dork I am. Friday morning bright and early, I woke up and the first thought to pop into my mind is… THE LETTERS! I had intended to send the other half the next day so he wouldn’t be left waiting for them and I had forgotten. I jumped out of bed to get the envelope addressed and get a stamp on it so I could get it off right away. The only problem is… where were they?
After getting home from the FedEx office, I had been getting ready for the van thing and decided to clean my house up. That meant cleaning off my junk counter. It was the last place I remember seeing the envelope. I SWEAR I didn’t throw it away. Why would I throw it away? I would pick it up and know exactly what it was and NOT throw it away. But it was gone. I have scoured my entire house searching for it and it hasn’t turned up. I can only come to two conclusions:
- In my haste to run off to the FedEx office, I accidentally put both envelopes in the box. Which is super lame.
- I threw them away. More lame.
I will not know until I hear from him whether or not the second half of the letters was in the box. For the letters from his siblings, it’s an easy fix. They typed them, so it would be easy to reprint. Patrick’s, on the other hand, was written. He said he’d have to have Dylan send it back so he could reconstruct it if we can’t find the other half. Either that or just let him wonder for the rest of his life what the letter said.
So that’s the story of Dylan’s Hump Day Package. It was delivered exactly on time. I wish I could have included some kind of audio device that played that camel’s voice from the commercial because that would have been awesome! But I think it turned out pretty well either way. Even though I didn’t want Dylan to dwell on the “halfway done” portion, I’m kind of dwelling on it myself. I’m so happy that we’re more than halfway done and I can’t wait to get that hug again when he gets home…one year from now.